[eDebate] AT: sanchez re: pedophilia (LONG)

[Ashley6257 at aol.com]

I have always been a silent member of edebate but I have a hard time not 
saying anything about this discussion. People who want to have sex with 
children are sick and perverted. Sex with children is about power and 
control. Castration won't even work because rape/child sexual abuse isn't 
about "Sex" as the people are advocating. It's about power and control and 
any one in a power position can manipulate a child into that situation. Even 
teenagers are vulnerable and should be protected. A teenager should be 
worrying about school dances and football games and other innocent events, 
not whether or not "Mr. Bob" is going to be lurking around the corner. The 
bottom line is that children/teenagers are vulnerable and are not capable of 
forming consent. All sexual assault provisions (here anyway) say that "lack 
of knowledge of age is not a defense." There is a reason the laws are written 
this way. Its to protect some of the most vulnerable sections of society.
Intergenerational sex is disgusting. And  if that makes me a "Bigot" than so 
be it. 
.People condemning others on edebate saying be "nicer to him" unfortunately 
make u p our society. Thats why children are raped and hurt and angry is 
because the majority of society thinks we should be nice to child molesters. 
They don't come out and say it directly, they do it indirectly by not 
believing children when they come forward or blaming them for having a short 
skirt on or looking too sexy. Hell a few weeks ago a 37 year old man accused 
a 12 year old of "raping him." Come on. It's disgusting.
The one thing that people are advocating (trying to abolish ageist bigotry) 
is the one thing they are  doing.
This is from "Profile of a child molester." from 
www.survivors-and-friends.org/Parents_Corner/profile.html
Pay special attention to the bold, my comments are in italics and underlined.

1. Finds positions where children are available (leader of children's clubs, 
ministries, etc., COACHES, camp counselors & chaperones, daycare centers, 
SCHOOL POSITIONS, offers to babysit for friends and family etc.(would you 
trust your child around a sexual predator, advocate what you want but call it 
what it is, A rapist.)
2. Seems to love children, children seem drawn to this person.
3. Seek out women with children (or friends with children.)
4. Abused as a child
5. Spends a lot of time with child (not his own).
6. MAY BE RIGID, SEEMS TO BE MORAL, PILLAR OF COMMUNITY (too often 
accusations of abuse have not been believed because the person seemed to be 
too good, too outstanding to do such a thing.(how many people from the debate 
community would believe the child if he/she came forward with an experience 
of childhood rape from this guy. HOw many people wrote in defending his 
actions saying "be nice." or "he's a nice guy creating discussion." Please, I 
hope for children's sake that parents run far with their children.
7. Groom child-creates special bond (this may involve giving child gifts, 
money, or even alcohol, or other 'forbidden' things that make it appear he is 
a special friend and creates atmosphere for secret keeping. Could also 
include playfully touching, tickling etc. but moves toward inappropriate 
touch.
8. MAY BE AN AUTHORITARIAN OR TIMID AND UNASSERTIVE. ( This goes back to the 
talking pretty part and that adults DO HAVE POWER over children. Including in 
the instances they are talking about.
9. May frequent places like video arcades.
10. SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO CHILDREN (most can't or WON"T RESIST these urges.) 
Don't hurt innocent kids for the mere fact of your satisfaction.
11.May be addicted to child pornography
12.MAY BE UNCOMFORTABLE IN ADULT RELATIONSHIPS (i.e. DOESN'T RELATE WELL, 
INSECURE) (hmm enough said here.
13. May have symptoms and after-effects of a survivor
14. Usually will deny or RATIONALIZE THEIR BEHAVIOR.(Here the excuse seems to 
be ageism and that is his rationalization, thats just as messed up as someone 
saying that the child deserves it, once again call it what it is, SICK, 
DISGUSTING, PERVERTED, and yes, ILLEGAL.)
15. MANIPULATIVE (Child molesters are very manipulative and they can get 
children to do what they want, my case in point. Children are not capable  
(AS A WHOLE) of making sexual decisions, not with 40 year olds anyway. 
Additionally MOST people grow up and learn something in years past their 
childhood, which would provide the basis for power and control, 
16. They befriend single mothers in order to get to the children. They prey 
on the desperation of the woman who has no support system. They often sleep 
with the mother.
17. Roughhouses children, tickling, slapping buttocks, etc. and using this 
playful guise when they are in fact touching inappropriately.
18. Calling YOUNG TEENAGE GIRLS SEXY OR MAKING OTHER SEXUALLY SUGGESTIVE 
COMMENTS. (Just another tactic.

I want to draw specific attention to numbers 12 and 14 because I think they 
go hand in hand. May be uncomfortable in adult relationships and they 
Rationalize their behavior. Sure it sounds pretty the way they say it but all 
they are doing is rationalizing their behavior. These people are no different 
than your average child molester.
I work with children and women who are abused on a daily basis, repeatedly 
beaten and raped, and until you look these people in the eye and see their 
pain and see first hand the effects this has on children, please don't 
advocate for things you know nothing about.
I will be glad to educate you on the effects of child abuse/sexual abuse on 
children, teenagers and adults. Let me know if you want further information. 

Thanks,
Ashley