[eDebate] DCA Debater #8- Josh Lynn

[Aaron Kall]

Josh received 29 points- two fifth place, 3 fourth place, one third place, 
two second place, and two first place votes

Josh Lynn, AKA the chosen one, AKA golden boy by Scott Phillips

Most of these DCA bios seem to start of with a slew of insults and then move 
on
to sentimental touchy-feely crap, but seeing as how if I had to describe 
josh
some of the first adjectives I would use are ?touchy feely? way to touchy 
feely?
I mean, I see where those hands go? there aint no sink in here?? ill start
there.

Don?t ever fucking question that

In many ways josh is how I dream of being. This guys GPA is like
3.938493849384938 and yet I think guest speakers go to his classes more than 
he
does. Sometimes he is just to smart, and  it scares me, and then I don?t 
want to
be like him, but other than that its cool. Everybody loves this guy. Often 
times
ill see josh on campus and hell come up and say hello and expect me to walk 
with
him, not a chance. He knows everyone, and he has to stop and talk and 
schmooze
with everyone. I once left a building on campus with josh, left him while he 
was
talking to some girl  so far out of his league it brought tears to my eye, 
went
to the debate office, wrote an affirmative, had Shannon throw it away, 
re-wrote
it and I still had time to take a nap before josh made it to the building 
due to
his conversational delays. And he talks to girls easily.  Anyone who can put 
up
with me for a year deserves some type of medal, like the silver-I debated 
with a
complete asshole and didn?t kill myself or him despite being constantly 
treated
like garbage-star. When I got to emory he immediately was nice to me. He and
adam kept inviting me out to hang with them, and I guess like listen to 80?s
music, I didn?t quite understand what they were saying but they kept 
referencing
that Devo song I think.  Point being:This guy is sweet, and no matter how 
much I
argue with you about nothing remember I love you man, you?re the only 
partner
ive ever had were ive wanted to win the flip so we could be aff,  don?t ever
fucking question that. So without much futher ado, lets get it on.

What you are about to read is true, except for the parts I made up to make 
it
more interesting

The introduction- you better recognize me like I look familiar

The first time I met one JBL was at the Dartmouth debate institute. He 
judged
me, we lost, but he was totally complimentary, kept saying I was sweet and 
what
not.  The only reason I mention this is because his blatant flattery may or 
may
not have influenced my first perception of josh: I thought he was a badass. 
No
seriously, badass. I don?t know what it was, he had this air, something 
about
him. He seemed more like one of the cool kids who made fun of debaters than 
a
debater.  Now anyone who has seen me interact with josh recently knows that 
this
image I had of him quickly wore off? but why?
When I first walked into the emory debate office there was a meeting of 
first
years and a sort of meet the debate team type happening. When this was over 
Josh
asked if any of the first years wanted to stay and help do work. Being the
incredibly Dedicated, Organized, Resourceful, Knowledgable  individual that 
I
was I of course volunteered. 10 minutes later josh had me photocopying 
native
American census reports? for several hours? the badass image was quickly
cracking.

One thing I feel the need to mention is that more than anything (other than
debate) josh and I have found a connection in the game of poker. One of my 
first
nights at Emory Josh invited me to loose much money to Lance Cook in a game 
of
cards. When I was down and out josh was there to loan me money? at a low 
rate of
interest? compounded bi-weekly? he even explained to me what it meant when 
he
said if I didn?t pay the interest it got tacked on to the principal. He was
really good with numbers, like it was genetic or something.
Of all the debate work I did that year I think the only thing josh and Adam 
ever
used was ASPEC(or federal government ontology if jairus is judging) and it 
is no
coincidence I think that it was their most successful negative strategy

I asked him to come to the dark side, he made a choice and said-
When josh asked me to debate with him I was ecstatic, I was thinking along 
the
lines of Foster and Paul or lupo and horowitz. Ill be the incredibly fast 
kid
who takes care of the aff and does the dirty work, and he can be the slow
persuasive guy who puts it all together. Then he did something that to this 
day
makes me hate him. He said ?and I think you should be the 2N, and if 
possible we
should find a way for you to give all the speeches?. Now some of you may or 
may
not have noticed from my performances at the policy RR and CEDA nationals, I 
am
not a fan of anything involving a 2. when he said 2N I was more thinking of
like? a team? that is like.. good on the aff but like? you know loses allot 
of
neg debates?  A year before that I would have been like ?hell yea im doing 
the
2N, because I rule and you drool?. But a year in college debate had done 
what
many had thought not possible, made me humble?humbler? kinda? Anywhoo 
needless
to say I was a bit apprehensive at best. Josh took a big risk debating with 
me,
and I appreciate that.

One thing about debating with josh, why cant you people tell us apart? Even
people on our own team get us confused, what is up with that? We are clearly
different people. I mean sure we are both big guys, we both may or may not 
be
balding, we may booth say rum instead of room, Josh may copy the way I 
dress, we
don?t really like to shave,  and we may both be incredibly good looking but 
come
on people!!

Ill slice and dice you like a ginsu- anything you say can and will be used
against you

In debates josh and I are like a well oiled, top of the line imported sports
car?.that is being driven by kacey wolmer. We have everything needed to 
achieve
greatness- but sometimes it doesn?t quite get used effectively.
If josh and my debate strategy, any time this word is used to refer to us it 
is
clearly being used loosely,  had to be broken down I would say this: he is 
the
brain, and I am the brawn. A typical conversation between us during a CTBT 
1AC
is as follows
?hey scott, you didn?t write ban modernization into the CP text?
?yea I know?
?why??
?cause im not a {explitive deleted}, you stupid {explitive deleted}?
?ok, well I just think its easier to CP it out than have to deal with it?
seeing my hard ass ways have failed I go flip mode and change strategies
?<insert voice cartman uses when talking to his mother> but josh!!! Dave 
wrote
all these blocks and I just have to read them and not think!!!!!?
?ok dude whatever?
(time elapsed)
?next of case the counterplan: the USFG should ban modernization of??

every file I write, takes 25 to life?.

Josh is a thorough researcher? emphasis on thorough. Josh?s research process 
is
basically to get a topic, checkout everybook in the library that has a call
number beginning with the same digit, read them over the course of a week, 
and
then stay up all night before the tournament doing lexis work. Now needless 
to
say this has its ups and downs. Ups- who the hell would have thought you 
could
find a card that says Indian casino gaming causes boom bust cycles and 
guarantee
a recession every 8-10 years causing a world war, in one card? Not i. Downs-
books don?t contain conflict uniqueness, you get fined when josh checks them 
out
on your car, he uses police chalk to underline making reading them 
impossible?.
josh also gets frustrated when others don?t use this strategy (nuclear 
strategy
file?). Josh and I have differing views on evidence, he will cut any card no
matter how bad from a source that has qualifications, and I will cut a good 
card
from any source (letter to the editor, personal webpage, discussion board, 
dr.
sally weidel?)

The AFF-I live my life like the captain of a sinking ship

Josh was without a doubt the reluctant captain of the aff ship. Before 
rounds he
would frequently hit me with a barrage of questions like what advantages, 
what
do you think the plan should say, how do we stop wake ES from running ispec, 
do
my clothes match? And I would frustrate the hell out of him by saying ?Dude, 
its
your ship just make a decision. And no your wearing a black belt with brown
shoes and basketball shorts? to which he would reply with something like 
?you
are so much more {expletive deleted} than Goldstein?. What he never really
figured out was in Josh I trusted.( ok I OCCASSIONALY made suggestions 
during
the 2AC but that was it?. Who doesn?t permute a CP text that takes 2 minutes 
to
read I mean who does that?) besides if Josh and I ever got into a real 
argument
about the aff I simply needed to say something like ?calm down, it will be 
ok ?
or ?hey we are all friends here? and if that didn?t work ?remember T the US 
is
brazil ?? and the crises would be averted.

A little NDT tidbit- before the NDT josh basically worked exclusively on new
SORT affs, yes we waited until the sort was ratified to begin researching 
it.
The main push of this was to run an aff that got rid of some subs so josh 
could
relive his high school glory days of sub bumping. A direct quote ?god damn I
cant wait to beat Raja on sub bumping again?. When brought in for 
questioning
one R. need to go to the bathroom said ?Sub Bumping? What the {expletive
deleted}? That {expletive deleted} beat us on the constitution is sexist, I 
mean
what kind of {expletive deleted} is that {expletive deleted}?.
I think if  yoda saw josh debate on the aff he would probably say something
along the lines of ?the force is strong with this one?, then look at me and 
say
?but the darkside clouds all?? I honestly don?t know how we pulled of some 
of
the shit we did. Some people call feats such as these ?jedi mind tricks?,
personally I don?t think industrial light and magic could make what we did 
seem
possible. Direct quotes from the josh in debates we won include
?Korea disad- this was only 5 cards in the 1NC- if they develop it more 
we?ll
answer it?
?They say debate is bad- Turn interpretive realism??
?counter interpretation or means or?
?Josh that?s a double turn? ?it is?? ?you said fusion now, CTBT kills 
Fusion,
fusion good? ?ahhh touch?, scratch one of those 2 turns?
?Turn: Russian nationalism??
not really a quote, but josh once neutralized a huge china disad by reading 
the
neutron bomb add on, skipping the impact and reading the card on the next 
page I
had labeled ?answer to neutron bomb add on?
and a little 2AR magic
?anyone in this room could be a nazi- look at that kid there?
?poor people don?t know how to spend their money, their just gonna buy food?
and from cross x
?that?s right- Israel has no nuclear weapons cause the jews are too cheap?
?oh really? Cause I didn?t feel like I was committing genocide during the 
2AC?
?what are you stupid??
And who can forget such classics as
?whats the status of your kritik alternative? ?unconditional? ?so you have 
to go
for it? ?yes? ?are you sure its not conditional? ?yes? {expletive deleted}?. 
???
And in a debate I wasn?t there to see but have on tape
?I DARE you to go for T the US is brazil?

The negative- Flip Mode, Flip mode is the greatest

I honestly don?t understand allot of our negative success, people never
seemed to figure out that when I gave a stand up 2NC where I dropped have 
off
what they said and answered the other half the wrong way that I was planning 
on
going for what josh was taking in the 1NR.
Having debated with the blazing asian didi-well kick your ass on the 
status-kuo
the year before my expectations for josh?s 1NC?s were a bit unreasonable at 
the
beginning of the year. But we learned valuable lessons at GSU and the KY RR
about spotting people advantages in the 1NC to fit in a bunch of bad disads, 
and
by mid year we had found our groove: one off and the case (2 off if it was 
the
CTBT, can I get a hell yea for catch 22, don?t act like you think its stupid
your teams all stole it). And just when we thought it was safe one D-heidt 
would
come out with a new disad with even longer cards and make our 1NC even 
smaller.
Is there a worse feeling being the 2N then hearing the 2AC put the disad you 
are
planning on going for at the bottom of the 2AC order, then having them get 
there
and their partner yell out ?7??(perhaps this is second to hearing the 2AC 
say
?this doesn?t assume the way we?ve contextualized our zizek claim within our
derrida evidence). Towards the end of the year though the little engine that
could turned out to be a bullet train. In the finals of northwester josh 
gave
probably the best 1NC of anyone I?ve ever debated with, 7 off case (ok so 
ASPEC
and ISPEC were on 1 page) and a slew of answers to the case, I almost shed a
tear when the disad I wanted to go for was 2nd in the 2AC order, giving me 
time
to prep, and only had 6 responses on it. ( on a sidenote the round before 
the
confidence disad was the last thing in the 2AC and had like a ridiculous 25
answers, and that was ben Thorpe josh, BEN THORPE!, it turns out you 
couldn?t
spread Thorpe after all..)

In closing Josh, debating with you was awesome, and I?m sure you will have
unlimited success on your future? where you want to be a drug addicted 
history
teacher? good luck with that ;-)

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