[eDebate] Open Heart? Legends/Legend Killers...

Josh Hoe jbhdb8
Mon Dec 4 18:40:50 CST 2006


Bill Smelko asked me to post this for him:


The Legends Debates That Anyone Would Pay To See



The First Match on the Pay Per View Debate Card would be:



The Real Clash of Civilizations: Anything Else Is Just A Skirmish of Styles.



The Participants:

Bill Southworth (San Fernando Valley State NDT 3rd Speaker) &

Roger Solt (Wake Forest NDT Elim Round Participant)



vs.



bill shanahan (nuff said) &

Dr. Ede Warner (Passion Personified)



Heading straight to Mutual Pref Number 225, the judge for the round is:  David
Zarefsky



The HYPE:  Please don't be late for this one.  Just imagining this round is
worth the price of the entire Pay Per View Card!





Second Match-Up on the Pay Per View Debate Card:

The "Who Gets First Speaker In This Round?" Debate.



The Participants:

Tom Rollins (Georgetown NDT Top Speaker 75, 78 (2nd in '76) &

Paul Skiermont (KY NDT Top Speaker 94-95)



vs.



Lyn Robins (Baylor NDT Top Speaker 86-87) &

Michael Gottlieb (NDT Top Speaker 99-00, a little young for the legend's
category , but he might be able to compete nonetheless)



Obvious Choice For Judge of This Round:  Robert Feldhake (Augustana, NDT Top
Speaker 76). He was so good they named the TROPHY after him)



The HYPE:  Legends, Legends . . . I'll give you REAL LEGENDS.  These four
must have had SOMETHING going for them so pay to see what it was that they
had.















Third Debate On The Card:

The "Who Needs Evidence Tubs For This Topic?" Debate.



The Participants:

Rebecca Tushnet (Harvard NDT Top 5 Speaker, Multiple NDT Elim Round
Participant)  & Lawrence Tribe (Harvard NDT 2nd Speaker and NDT Champion
1961)



vs.



Jess Choper (Wilkes College NDT 2X Elim Round Participant & NDT 57 3rdSpeaker) &

Erwin Chemerinski (Northwestern NDT 3X Participant, Multiple Top 10 Speaker)



Judges:  The United States Supreme Court (all 9 members) . . . maybe they
will learn something . . . .



The HYPE:  Bring a tape recorder to this round.  Every word these four say
will be useful at the NDT this year.  We can publish the transcript on
edebate (wait a minute, that's a different thread entirely) and . . . on
second thought,

PAY TO WATCH THIS ROUND, it will be cheaper than buying Harvard, Dartmouth,
Berkeley or Northwestern backfiles.







A Brief Intermission then takes place as the pay per view audience is
treated to a most entertaining discussion of topicality by two former debate
legends who assisted in taking the interpretation debate to new levels of
policy importance.



David Bois (Redlands 64-65, Counsel To The President, Senate Impeachment
Hearings) & Mark Fabiani (Redlands 76-79, NDT Top Speaker, 2 Time NDT
semi-finalist, Special White House Counsel) will explain just how meaningful
it is to understand definitional terminology with some degree of precision
as they discuss:



"Using Topicality To Prevent A President From Getting Impeached &
Convicted;" or, "It All Depends On What Your Definition Of IS, IS!"



After Intermission, the Pay Per View Card Continues With a Debate That Will
Necessarily Involve The Application Of The Politics Disadvantage.



The Participants:

Adrienne Brovero (Wake Multiple NDT Elim Participant & Top 5 Speaker) &

Bob Shrum (Georgetown 2X NDT Participant and NDT Top Speaker)



vs.



Arlen Specter (U Penn NDT Quarters 50-51 and NDT 13th & 6th Speaker) &

William Bennet (Denver NDT 8th Speaker 67).



Judge:  The American People At The Ballot Box.



The HYPE:

Brovero will explain how politics is SUPPOSED to work,

Shrum will describe how it DOES NOT ever work . . . for him, anyway

Bennet will give an assessment of how politics must have been meant to work

Specter will try to hold up the proceedings waiting for the next qualified
Supreme Court nominee to emerge, and failing that for the next two years,
will hold his breath like many, wondering if the Politics DA really does
link to Supreme Court decision-making.





The Final Debate Scheduled For Pay Per View Is Entitled:

"Settling The Final Legend's Score;" or, Which Will Be The First Team Of
Legends To Win Their Third?"



For the Main Event, the Heart Tournament Committee will briefly change the
name of the Tournament to "The NDT."  Two Rounds will be held to get these
Legends to the Final, Final Main Event:



In one semi-final,



Holt Spicer & James Q. Wilson  (Redlands NDT 50, Champs 51 and 52 & Top
Speaker/Second Speaker & Second Speaker/Top Speaker)  will debate



Michael Gottlieb & Ryan Sparacino (Northwestern NDT Champs 98-99, Top, Top,
Top and Second Speaker NDT)



In the other semi-final,



William Welsh & Richard Kirshberg (Northwestern NDT Champs 58-59) will
debate



Sean McCaffity & Jody Terry (Northwestern NDT Champs 94-95)





The HYPE:  You want LEGENDS, here's your legends.

The Betting Line and Most Probable Post-Match Story Line On This One:



Taking the train across country, like in the old days of legend, Spicer &
Wilson compile two tin boxes of file cards, rather than just one, and, using
some of the cards from both tin boxes, while effectively ignoring the
suggestions from the combined worker bee armies [who were brought along just
to look impressive in order to combat the consolidated evil legions of the
Northwestern juggernaut anticipated to be in attendance] consisting of past
(1) Southwest Missouri State debaters loyal to Professor Spicer (I know,
even the name has changed but Professor Spicer built a monster of a Debate
Program at SMS) &

(2) Redlands debaters (who got to hear Wilson & Spicer debate Rubenstein &
Cole at the Redlands 75th Anniversary),



Spicer & Wilson emerged from two hard-fought rounds, as Ric Flair did, with
the LEGENDS TITLE IN HAND, for it is written when LEGENDS are in the field
that old age and treachery will always defeat youth, talent and skill.





As an added attraction, a STEEL CAGE DEBATE will be held following Spicer
and Holt's victories.  The Steel Cage Match features a 70's contest with



BROWN taking on GEORGETOWN



Hotep X and Tuna Snider: (You DO NOT WANT TO DEBATE THIS TEAM)



will debate



Dallas Perkins & Howard Beales:  (You LIVE IN FEAR, FEAR, FEAR THAT THIS
TEAM WILL BE IN YOUR BRACKET, IN YOUR HOTEL, IN YOUR FUTURE)





And, just so EVERYONE can get their money's worth, after the blood and guts
are peeled off the cage doors, and the ring is wiped clean or bodily fluids,




A BATTLE ROYALE will close out the evening:  Everyone in attendance will be
invited down for just one more round, and the joy of listening to any number
of LEGENDS, from the 40's, 50's, 60's 70's 80's, 90's and graduated classes
of the new millenium, just once more, will make the contest a spectacular
pay per view event.



If any of you ever get the chance, and are interested, ask Professors
Zigemuller, Patterson, Southworth, or Strange about how amazing it would be
for anyone to hear [from the 70's] Stuart Singer, Barret McInerney, Don
Hornstein, Joe Loveland, Joe McGuire, Elliot Minceberg, Mary Grace Diehl,
Gil Skillman, Dennis Winston, Mike Fernandez, Robin Rowland, Frank Cross,
David Kent, or Linda Listrom (among lots and lots of others) again.



Same, it seems for the 80's and 90's.  Many people, would pay to hear Steve
Mancuso, Alan Coverstone, Gloria Cabada, Lenny Gale, Marc Rubenstein, or any
of the many greats from Iowa, Michigan, Wake, Louisville, Dartmouth and
Emory, debate again.



The idea of the LEGENDS TOURNAMENT has a real special appeal, and hopefully
a whole LOT of old, but not quite dead yet people will give it a try. If
not, current those of you who read this and who have eligibility remaining,
each should just enjoy the years/tournaments/rounds you may have left in
your own careers. Once it is over, you become . . . at best a legend, and as
the decades and half-centuries pass, you sometimes just become forgotten,
until the next legends tournament rolls around on pay per view.



Josh
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