[eDebate] Open Heart? Legends/Legend Killers...

Dr. Joe Bellon debate.gsu
Tue Dec 5 11:25:03 CST 2006


I have it on good authority that Melissa Wade will be debating maverick at
the Heart. As a result of her deeply held spiritual beliefs, Melissa will
refuse to debate on the negative. She only believes in affirmation. In spite
of this, she will go 8-0 and not lose a ballot in the elims. Every time you
make an argument or read a card, she will smile, shed a little tear, and
talk about how proud she is of you because "you've grown so much." In the
face of this unstoppable assault, you will break down and cry, confessing
your sins and begging her to allow you to do more (unpaid) UDL work so you
can regain god's grace.

-Joe

On 12/4/06, Josh Hoe <jbhdb8 at gmail.com> wrote:
>
> Bill Smelko asked me to post this for him:
>
>
> The Legends Debates That Anyone Would Pay To See
>
>
>
> The First Match on the Pay Per View Debate Card would be:
>
>
>
> The Real Clash of Civilizations: Anything Else Is Just A Skirmish of
> Styles.
>
>
>
> The Participants:
>
> Bill Southworth (San Fernando Valley State NDT 3rd Speaker) &
>
> Roger Solt (Wake Forest NDT Elim Round Participant)
>
>
>
> vs.
>
>
>
> bill shanahan (nuff said) &
>
> Dr. Ede Warner (Passion Personified)
>
>
>
> Heading straight to Mutual Pref Number 225, the judge for the round is:  David
> Zarefsky
>
>
>
> The HYPE:  Please don't be late for this one.  Just imagining this round
> is worth the price of the entire Pay Per View Card!
>
>
>
>
>
> Second Match-Up on the Pay Per View Debate Card:
>
> The "Who Gets First Speaker In This Round?" Debate.
>
>
>
> The Participants:
>
> Tom Rollins (Georgetown NDT Top Speaker 75, 78 (2nd in '76) &
>
> Paul Skiermont (KY NDT Top Speaker 94-95)
>
>
>
> vs.
>
>
>
> Lyn Robins (Baylor NDT Top Speaker 86-87) &
>
> Michael Gottlieb (NDT Top Speaker 99-00, a little young for the legend's
> category , but he might be able to compete nonetheless)
>
>
>
> Obvious Choice For Judge of This Round:  Robert Feldhake (Augustana, NDT
> Top Speaker 76). He was so good they named the TROPHY after him)
>
>
>
> The HYPE:  Legends, Legends . . . I'll give you REAL LEGENDS.  These four
> must have had SOMETHING going for them so pay to see what it was that they
> had.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Third Debate On The Card:
>
> The "Who Needs Evidence Tubs For This Topic?" Debate.
>
>
>
> The Participants:
>
> Rebecca Tushnet (Harvard NDT Top 5 Speaker, Multiple NDT Elim Round
> Participant)  & Lawrence Tribe (Harvard NDT 2 nd Speaker and NDT Champion
> 1961)
>
>
>
> vs.
>
>
>
> Jess Choper (Wilkes College NDT 2X Elim Round Participant & NDT 57 3rdSpeaker) &
>
> Erwin Chemerinski (Northwestern NDT 3X Participant, Multiple Top 10
> Speaker)
>
>
>
> Judges:  The United States Supreme Court (all 9 members) . . . maybe they
> will learn something . . . .
>
>
>
> The HYPE:  Bring a tape recorder to this round.  Every word these four say
> will be useful at the NDT this year.   We can publish the transcript on
> edebate (wait a minute, that's a different thread entirely) and . . . on
> second thought,
>
> PAY TO WATCH THIS ROUND, it will be cheaper than buying Harvard,
> Dartmouth, Berkeley or Northwestern backfiles.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> A Brief Intermission then takes place as the pay per view audience is
> treated to a most entertaining discussion of topicality by two former debate
> legends who assisted in taking the interpretation debate to new levels of
> policy importance.
>
>
>
> David Bois (Redlands 64-65, Counsel To The President, Senate Impeachment
> Hearings) & Mark Fabiani (Redlands 76-79, NDT Top Speaker, 2 Time NDT
> semi-finalist, Special White House Counsel) will explain just how meaningful
> it is to understand definitional terminology with some degree of precision
> as they discuss:
>
>
>
> "Using Topicality To Prevent A President From Getting Impeached &
> Convicted;" or, "It All Depends On What Your Definition Of IS, IS!"
>
>
>
> After Intermission, the Pay Per View Card Continues With a Debate That
> Will Necessarily Involve The Application Of The Politics Disadvantage.
>
>
>
> The Participants:
>
> Adrienne Brovero (Wake Multiple NDT Elim Participant & Top 5 Speaker) &
>
> Bob Shrum (Georgetown 2X NDT Participant and NDT Top Speaker)
>
>
>
> vs.
>
>
>
> Arlen Specter (U Penn NDT Quarters 50-51 and NDT 13th & 6th Speaker) &
>
> William Bennet (Denver NDT 8th Speaker 67).
>
>
>
> Judge:  The American People At The Ballot Box.
>
>
>
> The HYPE:
>
> Brovero will explain how politics is SUPPOSED to work,
>
> Shrum will describe how it DOES NOT ever work . . . for him, anyway
>
> Bennet will give an assessment of how politics must have been meant to
> work
>
> Specter will try to hold up the proceedings waiting for the next qualified
> Supreme Court nominee to emerge, and failing that for the next two years,
> will hold his breath like many, wondering if the Politics DA really does
> link to Supreme Court decision-making.
>
>
>
>
>
> The Final Debate Scheduled For Pay Per View Is Entitled:
>
> "Settling The Final Legend's Score;" or, Which Will Be The First Team Of
> Legends To Win Their Third?"
>
>
>
> For the Main Event, the Heart Tournament Committee will briefly change the
> name of the Tournament to "The NDT."   Two Rounds will be held to get
> these Legends to the Final, Final Main Event:
>
>
>
> In one semi-final,
>
>
>
> Holt Spicer & James Q. Wilson  (Redlands NDT 50, Champs 51 and 52 & Top
> Speaker/Second Speaker & Second Speaker/Top Speaker)   will debate
>
>
>
> Michael Gottlieb & Ryan Sparacino (Northwestern NDT Champs 98-99, Top,
> Top, Top and Second Speaker NDT)
>
>
>
> In the other semi-final,
>
>
>
> William Welsh & Richard Kirshberg (Northwestern NDT Champs 58-59) will
> debate
>
>
>
> Sean McCaffity & Jody Terry (Northwestern NDT Champs 94-95)
>
>
>
>
>
> The HYPE:  You want LEGENDS, here's your legends.
>
> The Betting Line and Most Probable Post-Match Story Line On This One:
>
>
>
> Taking the train across country, like in the old days of legend, Spicer &
> Wilson compile two tin boxes of file cards, rather than just one, and, using
> some of the cards from both tin boxes, while effectively ignoring the
> suggestions from the combined worker bee armies [who were brought along just
> to look impressive in order to combat the consolidated evil legions of the
> Northwestern juggernaut anticipated to be in attendance] consisting of past
> (1) Southwest Missouri State debaters loyal to Professor Spicer (I know,
> even the name has changed but Professor Spicer built a monster of a Debate
> Program at SMS) &
>
> (2) Redlands debaters (who got to hear Wilson & Spicer debate Rubenstein &
> Cole at the Redlands 75th Anniversary),
>
>
>
> Spicer & Wilson emerged from two hard-fought rounds, as Ric Flair did,
> with the LEGENDS TITLE IN HAND, for it is written when LEGENDS are in the
> field that old age and treachery will always defeat youth, talent and skill.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> As an added attraction, a STEEL CAGE DEBATE will be held following Spicer
> and Holt's victories.  The Steel Cage Match features a 70's contest with
>
>
>
> BROWN taking on GEORGETOWN
>
>
>
> Hotep X and Tuna Snider: (You DO NOT WANT TO DEBATE THIS TEAM)
>
>
>
> will debate
>
>
>
> Dallas Perkins & Howard Beales:  (You LIVE IN FEAR, FEAR, FEAR THAT THIS
> TEAM WILL BE IN YOUR BRACKET, IN YOUR HOTEL, IN YOUR FUTURE)
>
>
>
>
>
> And, just so EVERYONE can get their money's worth, after the blood and
> guts are peeled off the cage doors, and the ring is wiped clean or bodily
> fluids,
>
>
>
> A BATTLE ROYALE will close out the evening:  Everyone in attendance will
> be invited down for just one more round, and the joy of listening to any
> number of LEGENDS, from the 40's, 50's, 60's 70's 80's, 90's and graduated
> classes of the new millenium, just once more, will make the contest a
> spectacular pay per view event.
>
>
>
> If any of you ever get the chance, and are interested, ask Professors
> Zigemuller, Patterson, Southworth, or Strange about how amazing it would be
> for anyone to hear [from the 70's] Stuart Singer, Barret McInerney, Don
> Hornstein, Joe Loveland, Joe McGuire, Elliot Minceberg, Mary Grace Diehl,
> Gil Skillman, Dennis Winston, Mike Fernandez, Robin Rowland, Frank Cross,
> David Kent, or Linda Listrom (among lots and lots of others) again.
>
>
>
> Same, it seems for the 80's and 90's.  Many people, would pay to hear
> Steve Mancuso, Alan Coverstone, Gloria Cabada, Lenny Gale, Marc Rubenstein,
> or any of the many greats from Iowa, Michigan, Wake, Louisville, Dartmouth
> and Emory, debate again.
>
>
>
> The idea of the LEGENDS TOURNAMENT has a real special appeal, and
> hopefully a whole LOT of old, but not quite dead yet people will give it a
> try. If not, current those of you who read this and who have eligibility
> remaining, each should just enjoy the years/tournaments/rounds you may have
> left in your own careers. Once it is over, you become . . . at best a
> legend, and as the decades and half-centuries pass, you sometimes just
> become forgotten, until the next legends tournament rolls around on pay per
> view.
>
>
>
> Josh
>
> _______________________________________________
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>
>
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