[eDebate] DCA's for Seniors

Michael Klinger klingerdebate
Mon May 15 06:05:38 CDT 2006

Apparently there are no bios coming for the remaining debaters, so
I'll offer these brief shout outs for them. Since most of the bios
follow the insult then compliment format, I'll try to the do the same.

To all four of you:

HAHAH! Looooooooosers! The debate community (read: Andrea voting 15
times) has spoken, and I am numero uno. You know, in some ways,
receiving this rank again is a more meaningful individual achievement
than a second NDT top speaker award would have been. Unfortunately in
most ways it is not...

Serious Notes:

Craig Wickersham was one of the most impressive 2A/1Ns that I've seen.
And believe me, it takes a lot for me to admit that a 2A/1N can be
impressive or that he or she is even a debater. But some special
recognition is deserved for a dude that kicked ass running the biggest
aff on a brutally neg biased topic. We lost all our neg rounds against
Cal BW this year and I'm sure we're not alone in that regard. As an
aside, Craig also deserves props for having duped the entire community
into thinking he's really nice. I'll let most of you in on a secret:
Craig does not like you, you just think he does.

Scott Phillips is surely the most talented debater I've ever known. I
mean, in 2006 this guy was still winning debates on PICs bad! Who does
that? When Scotty was debating at his best he could beat you with a
fortune cookie and the morning newspaper. No offense to the people who
voted for me over him in the "speediest debater" category, but you're
all morons. Scott, I really just have one more thing to say to you:

Brian Smith should be a role model for every up and coming college
debater. Obviously he was totally savage at debate. I can't think of a
tournament where he hasn't made at least the semis and he was top
speaker at the dartmouth round robin seven times. But more
importantly, Brian is the classiest person against whom I've debated.
At first I thought this was just because we only ever debated in front
of his parents, but with time I've come to realize that he really is
just extremely nice. I don't think I've ever seen him really lose his
temper about anything... well, except when he pizza-whipped Strauss...
which was awesome.

Josh Branson was quite simply the best all-around opponent I've ever
faced. There is no part of debate competition at which he did not
excel. This guy has won on counterplans to exclude a word not the in
plan or to do the plan to the whole world. You couldn't predict
whether he was going to rock you on a K or the Trade Disad. Well, ok,
it was usually the K. Regardless, Branson was the real deal. As far as
I can tell, his only weakness was the adoptions affirmative.

Personally I think it's too bad about the DCA bios. As Benjamin
Franklin once said: "Anyone willing to sacrifice a litle bit of
edebate roasting for a little bit of security will soon find
themselves with neither." or something like that. I also think we
should remember the recent warnings of Trey Parker and Matt Stone that
"either everything is funny or nothing is." I mean, past DCA bios have
ridiculed my ethnicity and my family, implied that I paid for sexual
favors, and even said that I {shiver} hooked up with Greta. In the
end, I didn't let these bother me because they're just stories posted
on the internet and are not meant to be taken as truthful. I think
some thicker skin would benefit everyone here, I mean how much do we
really care about stuff that Strauss says?

Just my two cents. Have a great summer all.

Michael Klinger
Harvard 06?

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