[eDebate] THE COMING DEBAC(A)L(YPS)E

NEIL BERCH berchnorto
Mon Jul 30 17:38:30 CDT 2007


I'll let others answer other parts (if they consider it worthy of answering), but my little part (recaptured below) makes me very sad that I haven't done more to help Bard debate over the past few years.--Neil

DONNIE BRYSON: I have a skill that is unique to debate. Would you
please hire me?

NEIL: From my high horse I can see that your skill is, in fact,
anti-educational. Perhaps I'll fuck with your finances.

DONNIE: Every living creature dies alone.


  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: Nathan Sweed<mailto:nathan.sweed at gmail.com> 
  To: edebate at www.ndtceda.com<mailto:edebate at www.ndtceda.com> 
  Sent: Monday, July 30, 2007 6:19 PM
  Subject: [eDebate] THE COMING DEBAC(A)L(YPS)E


  THE FOLLOWING SCENE TAKES PLACE ON THE EVE OF THE EVER-PRESENT DEBATE
  APOCALYPSE. ONCE-TACIT DIFFERENCES NOW CONGEAL INTO DISTINCT PARTY
  LINES. THE END IS NEAR.

  (ENTER JULY)

  JW: Four rich kids from well-funded prep schools are good at debate.
  Big fuckin' shocker right? They're going to whoop ass on some kids
  that don't have excessive coaching staff's backing them. Next year
  we're going to let women come to the camp and call it the Kentucky
  Bitches Program. Fuck the corporate world.

  (ENTER THE FIVE HORSEMEN)

  JACKIE: Are you an Iowa farm boy or girl? If so, would you please
  count the number of words in the resolution for me?

  EDE: I suggest starting a vanguard that refers to itself only as:
  America's Next Top(ic) Model. This parodic image will surely prove
  that I've still got it.

  TUNA: How about "Eastern Europe's Next Top(ic) Model?" It's so active
  it's active I active we active she active they active. And I second
  JW's move to fuck the corporate world. Kentucky Bitches 4 Life.

  EDE: Mmmmm.......Kentucky Fried Bitches.*

  ANDY: And I'm somehow in simultaneous noncondradictory agreement with everyone.

  DEHUMANIZATION:...

  (ENTER THE CLOWNS)

  DONNIE BRYSON: I have a skill that is unique to debate. Would you
  please hire me?

  NEIL: From my high horse I can see that your skill is, in fact,
  anti-educational. Perhaps I'll fuck with your finances.

  DONNIE: Every living creature dies alone.

  CUNTPEPPER: Evidence--even when provided by someone else--can still be
  used as a tool for education. I actually have a valid point.

  HARPO: That's a spicy cunt!

  BRUSCHKE: Satan is hosting a tournament. And this time maybe
  Northwestern will give trophies.

  --Ravenna Wilson***

  PS. The elite-based-apocalyptic-be-all-end-all's-well-that-ends-welcome-to-the-end-of-debate
  CAMP WONDER is still taking applications.

  *This statement is meant to be, as it definitively is, explicitly
  racist. All black people like fried chicken. Studies show that Black's
  need fried chicken just like Mexicans need calendars. If you think you
  know a black person who does not like fried chicken you probably just
  know a white dude using lots of fake tanner and a 59fifty hat.
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