[eDebate] back by popular demand...DCA debater #72.5 Fred "Tubby" Grimes
Tue May 8 17:25:54 CDT 2007
This just gets funnier every time I post it...well okay it doesn't, but it's pretty much what y'all nailheads deserve...
Fred is so thrilled to be on this list. He realizes that, as a member of a program (Cutco College of West Moose, Wyoming) with a very limited budget and able to travel to only a limited number of regional tournaments, he doesn't really deserve it...but his inclusion is a signal that these popularity contests REALLY mean something. Fred got into debate at the urging of his father, who had vigorously debated the loyalty oath in the 1950s. The elder Mr. Grimes had caught an opponent making stuff up, and everyone on the high school circuit called that person "False-quotes Louie" for the rest of his career. Fred was 19th speaker at his sub-regional ten-team state championship last year and once gave an entire speech sitting down! And once, in answer to an obscure strategy (no doubt appropriated from some other region) called "the narrative," Fred got out his tuba and played "stars and stripes forever." The judges wept, gave Fred the ballot, and then contributed ten dollars each to the American Legion. Fred won the "best knees" contest in his dorm one time, but gave the award back because he objected to the idea that one can be defined by their knees.
His coach, Owen Gueterrez, was heard to say "I don't think I've had a student in the past...oh...two semesters who works as hard and with as much integrity as Ted...I mean, Fred." He then said "Hey--now that Fred made the cut for this extremely important list, can anyone give us some money so we don't have to sleep on people's floors when we go to tournaments?" (compiled by Fred's partner, Isabelle "purple lipstick" Hollingsworth)
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