[eDebate] Apology

Josh jbhdb8
Sun Apr 13 21:32:04 CDT 2008


Doctor Warner,

It is somewhat comparatively soothing to move from the sting of front-handed
hatred to the minor pain of a backhanded apology.  In particular, I found
the following dare I say problematic:

EW: "Clearly, I misunderstood and over-reacted to the post, inferring that
you were trying to shift a discussion that I initiated about the educational
goals of debate.  I over-reacted by incorrectly concluding that you were
attempting to move the discussion away from the educational goals to a
different topic about resources.  In fact, you were simply providing an
"alternative story", as a friendly reminder to us of what we all already
knew, I guess."

Official JBH Translator: Josh is clearly full of excrement, but since it was
cordial excrement I guess I will "apologize.  BTW, Josh also was clearly
lying when he said that he cared about both.  Lucky for you readers I
ferreted out his plot to destroy my mission.

EW: "I would like to apologize: To Josh for over-reacting to issues and
arguments that I clearly misunderstood as demonstrated by my tone.  I should
have respected your tone and civility and not focused on the implication of
your argument, in terms of how I responded."

Official JBH Translator: Actually not sure that one needs translation - but
allow me the temerity anyway - "Josh was lying but lying politely, so I
guess I have to apologize even though I was 100% right.

EW: "Black anger and white expectations of "civility" come from, as well as
how power frames the context for that discussion.  It is still my sadness
that "we" can't seem to move from theoretical understandings to application
of these principles in our day to day existence."

Official JBH Translator: How dare he ask me for an apology....Clearly means
he doesnt get practial applications about theory (the theory that civility
if a form of privlege that Doctors at Major Universities - I mean Doctor
Warner - need not adhere to - although he asked other people treat him with
civility explicitly.....Oh, but not white women, who hate black people it
would appear...from now on they are lower case women...I digress)

EW: To the community for embarking on a search for the truth a decade
through an experiment that clearly has divided this community more than
brought it together.  The discomfort and divisive methods we embarked on
clearly have worked to the net detriment of this community's growth.  We
need to find better ways to productively engage difference or just stop
trying perhaps and segregate by similar interest.

Official JBH Translator: The call for apology was really an attack on my
projects...So, I will take my ball and go home.

EW: To those who chose to follow me under the promise that I could make a
difference in their lives as it relates to this debate community.  I clearly
was in over my head, and put too much respect into the empowering promise
that debate holds.

Official JBH Translator: I thought debate was smarter than this...and less
racist...It wasnt....sorry followers.

EW: To Deven, you were partially right.  The decision to move anyway from
"debate is institutional racism" was a mistake, but the bigger mistake was
ever creating the argument and the experiment called the Louisville project
in the first place.  It has serve to create false expectations that I don't
think CEDA/NDT debate can ever meet.  And in the end, that we only created
more alienation, pain and suffering for Black students, not moving any
closer to a notion of debate as a tool of Black liberation.  And you were
right, I'm too weak to do this.  The costs are too high and every time I see
the rainbow start to get built, it moves away as I walk towards it.

Official JBH Translator: I apologize to black debaters for encouraging them
to try to change debate.  Debate is totally F---d because the people are
F----d.

EW: To Adam for not remembering to take my own advice.  I deserve this
treatment as a Black in debate because I choose to participate.  Somewhere
along the way over the last couple of weeks, I forgot.

JBH: So let me get this straight.......I and like 40 people say "This has
been a great discussion" "Please read Doctor Warners writing" "This is too
important a discussion to dismiss" and now, once again, you are folding up
the tent because I held you to your own standard of discourse?  Really?  You
feel disrespected because I piled respect on you?  You feel your mission has
failed because I begged you to see why there was no relationship between
your message and what you said about me?

EW: For the record (for whatever that's worth) Josh, it was not my purpose
to limit the benefits of educational goals discussion to just increasing
participation of Black students, something you keep saying over and over as
if that was my primary goal.  My current and primary goal was to utilize the
Black experiences we've had during the 40 years of CEDA, the 65 years of the
NDT, and the 80 years of interracial debates, to try and construct a
superior debate community for all of us by including those experiences to
address the reasons that policy debate currently can't produce the Best
Policy Option in any round.  That got lost somewhere along the way in your
rhetoric.

JBH: Not intentionally, I didnt think it was a bad goal to increase
participation of Black students.  Actually thought that was what made your
project so devestatingly important.  But, I agree, you have moved on to a
broader goal.

EW:  I apologize because today I believe it is more important to co-exist
peacefully than to fight every moment for the right to one's dignity and
right to speak without the backlash of institutional power through the
word's and actions of the majority.

JBH: That doesnt really seem like you think you did anything wrong....In
fact it seems like you are blaming me for denying you dignity.

Now all that said....Doctor Warner, I accept your apology.  Believe it or
not, MIke was right, I care about you.  As a sign of good will I promise not
to respond to ANY post you write in the next calendar year starting today.


I also will not write on issues of the topic, racial diversity, or diversity
in debate.  Not because I am "taking my ball and going home" but because,
for once, a bunch of new voices sprung up and it would be nice to let them
have the floor instead of me and because I dont think I am saying anything
new anymore.

If for some crazy reason you feel the need to discuss something with me,
feel free to do it backchannel.

Now, anyone who is wondering why:

1. This discussion is too important, its subject too critical, for it to
continue to get mucked up by personal issues between me and Doctor Warner.
We can clearly no longer have a civil conversation.  I will clearly admit
that what he has to say about race IS MORE IMPORTANT than anything I have to
say.  In addition, I believe everyone has heard what I have to say over and
over and over again.  This is not meant ironically at all.

2. I write too damn much on edebate.  This discussion has finally made me
realize I am tired of listening to myself talk....Took 40 years...I am sure
someone else can take the "conservative" "pro-debate side" for a bit.  Plus
I have Rangers and Mavericks blogs to terrorize.

3. I am tired of feeling like s---t for sticking up for what I believe in.
In my mind, there is NO WAY that this discussion should have happened....NO
WAY what I asked for should have been controversial....and NO WAY it should
have Doctor Warner saying he is leaving debate and apologizing to his family
for wasting his earning potential on debate.  I am literally tired of
fighting with someone who will blame me for ruining his livelihood and
dooming black people to no debate just to make myself "feel better"

Anyway, seriously, its a bad idea for me and Doctor Warner to talk about
this anymore....Despite that, you should listen to him...He is a great
fighter for meaningful causes, he is one of the best coaches of debate in
the United States, and the students I know who have been in his classes say
he is an amazing teacher.  This discussion is MUCH more important to
continue than almost anything else ever discussed on here.  Please continue
the discussion.

Josh
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